wearing a watch

wearing a watch has made my life better. in the future having a floor to ceiling, wall to wall bookshelf with a ladder will also do the same i think. and candles everywhere. three things that make me happy.

i'm so sad today but for a different reason this time.
today it's because of this.
i think this is the first time i will grieve somebody i've never met.
my heart hurts.

home

i can't seem to get enough of this song lately. the official music video is here but i really love how much fun they appear to be having in this live performance on letterman. also another song i like by them is janglin.

i'm feeling a little better today. yesterday was the first time i felt really alone. i always knew that feeling would come - and will be back - but it still caught me off guard. it's strange, i don't even know what's different about today but my sadness has faded. i suppose this song is pretty appropriate.

i went to a fantastic flea market today with oscar and jet. you have to take a passenger ferry to get there and it was in this huge warehouse just near where the ferry lets you out. unfortunately the warehouse wasn't heated so we were freezing, in fact i still am, two hours later. because of the cold (and the size of the place) we only ended up getting to see about half the goods so i'll definitely be going back sometime soon. here's a pick of my prizes...a maroon leather bag, a tin box with an owl on it, a fan broach and lastly two miniature packages of black and white photographs of amsterdam - the best!


i went to the town phil's from on friday. it's called wassenaar and it's actually quite near to the hague which is where i initially got a job as an au pair. weird to think about where i'd be right now had i taken that job instead. anyway it was a really nice day; his friend louise came along too. we went to the beach, watched his brother's basketball game and had a nice big family dinner.


lauren - it's comforting to think about you reading a story about me. and thanks april and jess too for being so loving xxoo

i'm having a really sad day.

loneliness is sort of inescapable in a city where no one actually knows you. i miss being around people that i'm completely comfortable with. i take too long to open up. i cried to myself while i walked through the park with hunter this morning. i felt a bit better afterward. but now, if i let my mind wander, i cant hold them back. the worst part is not being able to call anybody because of the time difference. the only person that would be awake is my brother but my phone won't let me call japan. hopefully i feel better soon; writing this actually just made it worse so i'm going to click publish post now.

you know when you bring something on a trip and you think to yourself, 'i'm so glad i brought that thing' because it turns out to be so right for where you are? well that thing for me is flopsy. my bunny from my younger years that i recently rediscovered, tucked away in an old wooden box in my basement. it was a pleasant discovery; although, i didn't realize how quickly or seriously i would become reattached to him - especially since i've never really been a stuffy person. in fact, i almost forgot to pack him. he's down to one eye but other than that he's perfectly intact and sufficiently able to keep me feeling warm and safe.

show and tell

i figure some of you may be curious about my living quarters so i've taken some photos of my room to share with you. unfortunately the windows - my favorite part - cannot be shown right now because my curtains are drawn to keep out the cold. but i've managed to document the rest. quite a few ikea items and don't miss the dutch tulips on my bedspread. you may especially enjoy my alien night side table lamp.