her morning jog

she awoke with a start to her alarm. it was set to ensure her presence in the morning routine. the thought of accidentally sleeping through it made her feel anxious. after all, this was her job. never sure of the exact time she was needed, she descended the steep wooden staircase to discover complete silence. not a creature was stirring. perhaps she had overestimated her responsibilities. she could have used the extra sleep she had just mistakenly left behind.

she contemplated how to spend this unplanned free time. she was in a new place so she decided some exploring would be had. a run. that would do it - exploration and exercise all in one. she proceeded back up the creaky stairs to change into the necessary attire. she quickly scribbled a note explaining her whereabouts. it was a beautiful morning, complete with roosters crowing and sun shining. it was early april; the morning air offered a temperature ideal for jogging. although the narrow cobblestone streets proved to be a challenging surface forcing her to appreciate the paved paths her feet were used to. the roads were completely still, not a soul in sight. didn't farmers have to be up early to tend to their fields? despite feeling totally alone, she felt entirely safe; the chaos of the city seemed so far from this place.

the fact that each country road was identical to the next crossed her mind for a fleeting moment but her confidence in her sense of direction quieted such queries almost instantly. her mind instead settled on the long stretches of land surrounding her on either side of the road.

the first sighting of another life: an old man on a bicycle. a very pleasant sight indeed. once he passed her, he was forgotten until suddenly, as she turned down the next road, she noticed him stopped in the distance. he was off his bicycle now and beside him stood a second bicycle, although there was no owner in sight. this particular road was lined with tall trees and ran through two vast pieces of farmland. it therefore harbored no sign of human occupancy, aside from the man and herself. as she drew closer, she could see that he appeared confused, or was it perhaps concern that the lines on his face were shaped to convey?

she usually finds it mildly irritating to be interrupted while running; however, this situation left no room for irritation. instead curiosity and wonder overcame her. for whom did this second bicycle belong to and where was its owner? why did this man appear so unsettled? as she approached him, she removed the headphones from her ears and asked him if everything was alright. he began some sort of explanation that involved physical gestures like pointing. unfortunately, the man spoke in dutch, another reminder that she remains an outsider.

it became clear that the man knew less than a word of english; this made comprehension of the circumstances exceptionally difficult for her. reading his emotions in the absence of verbal assistance proved rather puzzling. it was hard to tell whether he was upset, worried, afraid or just plainly confused, or perhaps some combination of each.

suddenly, the man reached out one of his hands to reveal the contents he so carefully held. to her bewilderment she found herself staring at an array of full fingernails, weathered and gray. naturally, worst case scenarios sprang to her mind. what could this possibly mean? she wanted so badly to understand what the man so clearly wanted to share. but after a few solid minutes of attempting to break down their impossible barrier, there came a point where there was nothing left to do or say. without verbal communication there would be no way for her to offer any help. the man seemed to reach this realization at the same moment she did. following this, he mounted his bicycle and began cycling back in the direction he came from. unfortunately this motion was not indicative of the end of his trip, but instead, of his effort to seek help.

still breathing heavily from the first portion of her run, she decided to continue despite the sudden feeling of uneasiness that now occupied her mind. she turned right at the end of the road, with the hope of making a loop back to the farmhouse. but instead of taking a right at the next road, she chose to go straight as she wasn't ready to stop yet. this decision would soon become a regret, for it initiated a route that would lead to confusion. she found herself nearing what she thought was home only to discover that she was entirely wrong. she stopped and looked to her left, then she looked to her right; both views were unnervingly similar.

she had never felt so lost.

holiday in the sun

i'm off to meet maggie in barcelona in a few hours. obviously haven't packed yet, but i'm working on it. i'll be sure to take loads of photos and post them promptly upon my return. miss everybody a lot!

here are some photos from the amsterdamse bos - the forest. gijs and i went last saturday afternoon in search of owl pellets. sadly, we returned home empty handed and rather defeated. but on the bright side, i was reminded of nature's infinite beauty. i think the fact that it was a beautiful sunny day really helped; the lighting was just perfect. you can see for yourself.

overload

was in the midst of a slightly tense household today. sometimes its hard to tell if my presence is helping or hindering, or perhaps passively going unnoticed? after a good discussion, i realize i'm part of the family and therefore shouldn't feel uneasy about this. by now, midnight, all tension has been eliminated and hopefully a couple of good night sleeps all around will bring a happy day tomorrow.

lots of things to catch up on but i'm getting pretty tired so must try to make it brief:

went to the family's summer house in the south of holland for easter weekend. they have a farmhouse on a large property surrounded by acres and acres of farmland. we played lots of football (*soccer), planted some tomatoes and strawberries, watched movies, stacked wood, ate chocolate and went to the local flea market. going back at the beginning of may.

discovered a wonderful summer hangout with phil - a farm in amsterdam! it's so quiet and peaceful and feels like you're far from the chaos of the city. it has a little restaurant on it that sells yummy dutch pancakes. oh and it has a free store - reminded me of hornby, on a much smaller scale - from which we took a double puzzle

went to jet's apartment for the first time and was very inspired. it was beautiful - both the nature of the apartment and her decorating taste. once again, can' t wait for my own space.

got a part time job looking after a baby named sive. it's just one afternoon per week but still worth it to have a little extra pocket money. plus i'll be getting my baby fill, which we all know pleases me.

finally finished the power of one. just started a new atwood - life before man. so far so good.

i bought my own bike! a few days later the one i had been using (that belonged to one of the boys) got stolen. good timing?

only two dutch classes left?! i really can't believe it. too bad i'm not fluent yet. although i think i'm starting to understand a lot more. or at least picking up on pieces of conversations and slinging the gist together with a few guesses here and there.

listening to these songs lately: 1. 2. 3. 4. and still...5.

got my first sunburn of the season.

phil finally kicked my ass in scrabble.

saw another mouse at the movie theatre tonight.

that's all for now. here are some visuals.

middleburg cityhall

the flea market

this trio reminds me of you april

my attic room at the summer home

easter sunset

my favorite trees around - if you look closely you can see them holding hands

phil at the farm, probably about to show me song #1

our bikes

de oranjerie
phil & phil

the defeat

festina lente

the birds are back bookmark

flowing juices nostalgia

her imagination

"yesterday was such a beautiful day here. it was supposed to rain but the sun was out. the sky was white though. and it was so beautiful. i went to yoga and kept imagining 65 red helium balloons being set free into the white sky. dancing and floating and running up to heaven. i think that may be the image i will always carry in my heart. red balloons dancing into the sky. with everyone on the ground looking up, watching, inspired. she was a hero for so many people. i am amazed." -lp

a new idea

i've been looking around for some suede string that i can buy by the meter and i've finally found some. i happened upon a little craft shop alongside the albert cuyp market that turns out to be quite a famous place apparently. the shop sells all sorts of trinkets from buttons to feathers (april - they have some beautiful feathers but unfortunately they're a little on the pricey side..i'll see what i can do). anyway, i'm so happy about my suede because it's very fun and multifunctional. bracelets, necklaces, belts, hair bands....gifts?! i bought four colours, one meter each, and so far have used each piece except the turquoise one.







(too bad i didn't have a wrist model handy)

with the new arrangement of my room i've now sort of got a craft table which has been very conducive to my craft productivity - my supplies are out and there is space to work, not much of an effort is required now. i bought some beautiful handwritten sheet music and some old maps at a market a few weeks ago which have added some new inspiration. despite the fact that it feels rather vain, i think i'll start posting some of the things i make on here. i hope it will help motivate me to continue making things and perhaps will make me feel a wee bit accountable.

on a whole other note i'm getting very excited about the weekend of april 22nd - maggie, steph and i will potentially be meeting in barcelona! we're still at the point of trying to reach each other on skype but i have a feeling it will actually happen. i'll keep you posted on our planning progress.

well i'm being distracted by delicious smells of pesto pasta wafting up to my room. i better go eat!

rearranged

so today was the day i finalized my decision about rearranging my room. as many of you know, this is something i do every couple of months - for the past 12 odd years. i find it really fun to think of new ways of making my furniture fit differently into the same space, and of course to increase efficiency (fran) and usability while i'm at it. i suppose i shall post a photo...perhaps a before and after...or three of each.

BEFORE:

AFTER:

it feels more like a full apartment to me now, rather than just a big bedroom. i think separation is key. now i feel like i have a living room, a bedroom, a hallway (kind of) and of course a kitchen.

i had a great day today. yesterday was a hungover one. and it sucked because it was such a beautiful day and it was my day off too. i had thought of a lot of ways i wanted to spend my day but i ended up horizontal on my couch. at least i was able to keep my terrace doors open, letting in some sweet spring air. so anyway, when i woke up today (after a nine and a half hour sleep!) i decided that i must make the most of this monday and make up for yesterday's idle time. between the things i had to do for work, i went to an outdoor market and perused through some real nice stuff, i did my room, i made dinner for the family and i went for a run. then i talked to rach and drank my new favorite drink - fresh mint tea with honey - and ate some milk chocolate. i'm feeling very comfortable and content.

i'll post some photos of my mom's visit too. it was a treat having her here. we got to spend a lot of quality time together. she stayed at dorith and derek's place so it was also nice seeing a lot of them too. they have been so unbelievably welcoming to me. so what did we do?

we went to traditional villages

we ate lots of good food

we strolled through the flower market many times

and more markets

look at all that chocolate!

we ate at lots of cafes

despite our allergies, we both started liking cats

these cats are a serious exception

we made lots of delicious dinners

we enjoyed the comfort of the delint's beautiful home

we ate carrot cake and drank coffee

all in all - it was so fun! it's now the next morning because i got too tired to organize these photos last night so i better get to work. also just wanted to say thank you for all your comments - they make me so happy.